MST3K: Nobody Likes Hamdingers: A Prequel to Mike's Arrival
by jjdpseattle
Summary: This is a prequel to The Elusive Uberlord's Mike's Arrival fanfic. What happened inside Deep 13 during the showing of Mitchell?


Twenty nine year old Michael J. Nelson had worked in a pizza parlor for some oddball named Torgo for nearly three months until the parlor was closed down indefinitely due to sanitation issues. So, Mike had to go back to the Happy Temps Temp Agency, who gave him the job and they gave him a new one: Working for mad scientist Dr. Clayton Forrester and his assistant/whipping boy, T.V.'s Frank at Gizmonic Institute. It was Mike's first day on the job and he was looking forward to it…not… But little did Mike know that this job would change his life forever.

Chapter I: They Hired a Temp by the name of Mike...

When Mike entered Gizmonic Institute's subbasement, Deep 13, he was immediately sent to work by Dr. Forrester and T.V.'s Frank, as they were preparing for an audit by the Fraternal Order of Mad Science (F.O.M.S.). F.O.M.S. had been given reports by anonymous tipsters that Dr. Forrester and T.V.'s Frank weren't really mad and weren't really scientific, either. They were just idiots with no job skills whatsoever. Mike also had to wear a leg iron, which made his normally good sorting skills diminish greatly. But he didn't want to tick off his bosses on the first day, so he just let it go. Unfortunately, while Mike was doing all the work, T.V.'s Frank was eating powdered doughnuts, when he was supposed to be helping Mike!

Mike (thinking): Is that what he does all day?

Again, Mike just let it go.

Mike found inventions like the Cake 'n Shake, the Lederhosen-hose-in and a life size game of Operation. At this point, Mike began thinking these two clowns weren't really mad and weren't really scientific either. But, once again, Mike didn't want to tick them off on his first day on the job.

A light turned on and there was a T.V. screen that showed a guy named Joel, not too different from you or me. There was also a talking gumball machine, a robot with a bowling pin mouth and a smoldering toothpick sculpture.

Mike: Hey Frank, what's the deal with this guy and his cute robots? (A/N: Oh Mike, you would soon find out...)

T.V.'s Frank (angrily): Listen, Mr. $4.25 an hour, YOU stick with the boxes and I'LL handle the experiment! Is that all right with you?

Then Dr. Forrester walked in saying "Frank, could I see you for a minute?"

T.V's Frank:"Sure thing Dr. F Say Steve, this temp stuff is working out great, don't you think?

Dr. F : I'm so glad your little friend is working out so nicely Frank...NOW WHAT ABOUT SENDING JOEL THE MOVIE YA DOOF?!

T.V.'s Frank: Oh the movie!

Dr. F stumbles upon an old science project

Dr. Forrester: Oh Frank look; "The Double Butt Graft": My science project from Evilos! I grafted the butt of a dog onto the butt of a cat. Sure they all laughed...

T.V's Frank: Dr. F, the movie!

Mike then hands Dr. F a VHS tape.

Dr. F says: Ah here it is "Mitchell" starring Joe Don Baker.

Mike: You guys watch Joe Don Baker movies?

Uh oh! Mike just ticked them off on the first day!

T.V.'s Frank: Oh, just get back to work temp boy!

Mike: For the love of Torgo, please get me out of here before **I** go mad!

Chapter II: Just a Regular Joe they didn't like...

About fifteen minutes later, Mike found a box of random hats, like a tap dancing hat, New Year's Eve party hat and a sombrero. Mike was so distracted that, unfortunately, he didn't realize that Dr. Forrester and T.V.'s Frank were planning to kill him.

T.V.'s Frank: Don't worry Doctor, I knew before we brought him on we'd have to eliminate him, that's half the fun!

Dr. Forrester: Yes, Frank, but how? These things must be done delicately.

T.V.'s Frank: After all, he knew going in that this was only a **temporary situation**.

Dr. Forrester: Yes and now I want this temporary situation taken care of...permanently.

T.V.'s Frank: Are we talking about the same thing?

Dr. Forrester: Yes, you idiot! He's been a canker sore on my gum-line for too long!

T.V.'s Frank: The way he struts around like he owns the place!

Dr. Forrester: Let's use Method #53... hmm?

T.V.'s Frank: Yes, elegant, painful...LET'S DO IT NOW!

Dr. Forrester: No...patience my little henchman; let's wait until after the experiment!

T.V.'s Frank: That's brilliant! Make him work for it!

Dr. Forrester: Then, our little jump-suited fool will be history!

At this point, Mike looks up behind him with a sombrero on his head and maracas in hand.

Dr. Forrester: GET BACK TO WORK!

What Dr. F, T.V's Frank and Mike didn't know was that a certain purple vacuum cleaner with a high-pitched voice was watching them, as T.V.'s Frank had accidentally turned on the video feed with his elbow...

Chapter III: Nobody Likes Hamdingers

Dr. Forrester (to Frank and Mike): I'm going to take a shower. Frank, I need you to help me wash my back. I don't want to be too hard on the newbie just yet. As for _you_, Mr. Telson-

Mike: It's Nelson.

Dr. Forrester: Whatever! You can take a quick lunch break.

Mike: Thanks.

(Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank leave the room)

High-pitched Voice (to Mike): Psst…Hey Mike!

Mike: Hey…you're one of the cute robots up in space with that guy! What's your name?

Gypsy: My name is Gypsy. We've got a huge problem!

Mike: What is it?

Gypsy: YOUR BOSSES ARE GOING TO KILL JOEL!

Mike: Gypsy! Calm down and tell me what's happening.

Gypsy: Well, about thirty minutes ago I heard them say that they were going to kill a little jump suited fool after the movie! He means so much to us! So you see, Mike? That's why we need to bring him down!

Mike: That's amazing Gypsy. Well, we've gotta do something. Here's a manifest for the Satellite of Love. Maybe there's something here that can help.

Gypsy: Oh yes! Please! Please! Please!

Mike: Alright, I assume you tried to gain control of the escape pod in Dock 14?

Gypsy: Yes I tried-THERE'S AN ESCAPE POD IN DOCK 14?

Mike: According to this, there's a single, occupant, escape pod called the _Deus Ex Machina_.

Gypsy: How could I not see it? Dumb...stupid...dumb...

Mike: I wouldn't blame yourself, Gypsy. Apparently, it's in a box marked "_hamdingers_".

Gypsy: Well no wonder we didn't see it. Nobody likes hamdingers! So how do we get him down?

Mike: I don't know. These clowns must have control. Let's try this thing. Here it is: "The pod is controlled remotely at the Tektronik panel." It must be this thing. "If direct access from the satellite is desired, a security key must be inserted into the panel and the sequence must be entered."

Gypsy: Frank's got to have the key! He loves keys!

Mike: Great if Frank has the key, how do I get it? Hey Frank, can I borrow your keys?

T.V.'s Frank: O.K.!

Mike: Let's see... ...I hate these things. It says "DIRECT ACCESS INITIATED" You're on your own Gypsy! Uh oh.

T.V.'s Frank: Hey! What did you need my keys for?

Mike: Uh…your lights were on.

T.V.'s Frank: Oh...okay…HEY! I don't have a car!

Mike: Then what'd you give me your keys for?

T.V.'s Frank: I dunno? I thought I left my lights on…

Mike: I'm glad I didn't waste time shutting off your imaginary lights.

T.V.'s Frank: Well, I'm sorry.

(As Frank walks away, Mike winks to Gypsy)

Gypsy: I'VE GOT CONTROL! Ooh! I've got to get moving!

THE END?


End file.
